I think I can write now…

I think I can write now.

 As I sit here and stare at the blank document on my ipad, I’m not sure how to begin. First of all I’d like to apologize to those that followed my blog because I’ve been MIA (missing in action) for the past year. Honestly… I just couldn’t write. I thought about it, but never did.   
This blog was supposed to be about my recovery from the worst case of broken hearted ness I’ve ever experienced. I had plans to document my journey into picking up the pieces of my life again. I just couldn’t write. I put every ounce of energy into my art. Painting helps me to think and decipher all the details plus it helps me to forget everything. I also poured energy into my house. I had almost entirely moved out and let things go around here to be with the man I was so in love with.  
I think I can write now. 


It’s been well over a year. I lost my best friend, my significant other, my lover and my dreams. I’m better now. The thought of him only crosses my mind a few times a day and I’ve started meeting other men. Nothing compares to him though. 
I hear people say “everything happens for a reason”. Really? Where’s my reason?  
I will be turning 55 next month. I live alone and it’s scary to think how much I’m liking it. The privacy and being able to do what I want to do when I want to do it. Still… I long for a wonderful relationship… It just seems to escape me.  
How to heal from a broken heart? How to learn to trust again? How to be vulnerable again? I will admit that I have my heart locked so it can’t be hurt like that again. I can’t go through that again. I almost got a tattoo last year of a heart with chains around it to always remind me to never open up like that again. I’m not a tattoo person so I didn’t get it. But it’s locked and it will take a special man to unlock it. I’m too old for these kinds of games and I’m tired.  


So… I think I can write again.  
I promise… I will continue to write and I will continue to be hopeful. This blog will reveal my thoughts while I travel through life pursuing my dreams of painting and selling my art. I wouldn’t mind meeting the man of my dreams either.  
To my readers. Thank you for being so patient.  I leave you with a beautiful photo of the area I live… I hope you enjoy

Much peace,




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