As I write this post on my iPad, I am in my woman cave. Actually it’s my art studio but it’s also my getting away space. I can spend days in here and never come out. I love being creative and getting excited about a project. One of my goals is to retire from my day job so I can create art full-time. That goal may take a while but I’m not giving up. .
As I’ve stated in my previous post, this blog is to keep me accountable on my desire to mend my heart. In order to do this I’ve deliberately made a point to spend a lot of time alone over the holidays. Part of healing is reflection. Looking back over the years and thinking through my past relationships.
I’ve had a successful life, I’ve owned a dance studio for many years, raised a family, have an interesting job and I’m blessed now to have four beautiful grandchildren. The one thing I’ve yet to accomplish is a successful, loving marriage. I divorced after twenty-one years and I’ve had several long-term relationships.
My last relationship has been the most difficult to get over. I have many emotions as I think over the three years we were together. I felt so bonded to him, we were inseparable and I thought we were perfect together. I’ve been lied too, cheated on and emotionally stomped on by most men in my life. This is the reason for the cold heart. I feel like I’ve been hurt so bad that I will never be the same again. I will never love again the way I loved Jack. A year has gone by and I still miss him. I never got the closure I needed and it never ceases to amaze me how people can turn their back on you and never look back.
I don’t think I can do it again… The dating process, getting to know another man. I’m tired and I just don’t care anymore. I’m fifty-four years old and have grand children for God’s sake!
This is why I’m in my new cave, after work on a Monday evening… Alone, but certainly not lonely! The only person that can make me happy is me. I’m finding happiness, in my art.
If you are traveling through a year of changing or accepting something in your life… You need a cave, a place to call your own. It doesn’t have to be an art studio, it can be a corner somewhere in your home or guys, in your garage or shed. Make a wonderful place that you love. Learn to be alone but not lonely, learn to comfort yourself and love what you do.