Spending time with me.

As I write this post on my iPad, I am in my woman cave. Actually it’s my art studio but it’s also my getting away space. I can spend days in here and never come out.  I love being creative and getting excited about a project.   One of my goals is to retire from my day job so I can create art full-time.  That goal may take a while but I’m not giving up.  .

 

Front
Front
Back
Back

 

As I’ve stated in my previous post, this blog is to keep me accountable on my desire to mend my heart.  In order to do this I’ve deliberately made a point to spend  a lot of time alone over the holidays.  Part of healing is reflection.  Looking back over the years and thinking through my past relationships.

I’ve had a successful life, I’ve owned a dance studio for many years, raised a family, have an interesting job and I’m blessed now to have four beautiful grandchildren.  The one thing I’ve yet to accomplish is a successful, loving marriage.  I divorced after twenty-one years and I’ve had several long-term relationships.

My last relationship has been the most difficult to get over.  I have many emotions as I think over the three years we were together.  I felt so bonded to him, we were inseparable and I thought we were perfect together.  I’ve been lied too, cheated on and emotionally stomped on by most men in my life.  This is the reason for the cold heart.  I feel like I’ve been hurt so bad that I will never be the same again.  I will never love again the way I loved Jack.  A year has gone by and I still miss him. I never got the closure I needed and it never ceases to amaze me how people can turn their back on you and never look back.

I don’t think I can do it again… The dating process, getting to know another man. I’m tired and I just don’t care anymore. I’m fifty-four years old and have grand children for God’s sake!

This is why I’m in my new cave, after work on a Monday evening… Alone, but certainly not lonely! The only person that can make me happy is me. I’m finding happiness, in my art.

If you are traveling through a year of changing or accepting something in your life… You need a cave, a place to call your own. It doesn’t have to be an art studio, it can be a corner somewhere in your home or guys, in your garage or shed. Make a wonderful place that you love. Learn to be alone but not lonely, learn to comfort yourself and love what you do.

image

 

Advertisements

One thought on “Spending time with me.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s